Evil

Evil lurks in the city.  I never stop looking over my shoulder.  I wouldn’t want to meet it face-to-face.  It congregates in places where you might least expect it; lurking in dark allies and hiding in drainage ditches.

The city is filled with buildings; some very tall and others short.  There are lots of houses.  In the past decade I have noticed homes torn down and townhouses built.  Apartment buildings are turned into condominiums.  Some affordable senior housing is popping up.  More people are being packed into the city.  More evil abounds.

There are shopping centers and strip malls, although they are both suffering because of the faltering economy.  There is asphalt – lots of asphalt.  I wonder who owns the companies that provide all that asphalt.  They must be the people who live in the big expensive houses.  Is evil there as well?

Children’s happy screams, poetic games and rhythmic songs can be heard from the parks that dot the city.  In contrast, poor and homeless people live in our parks.  Evil also lives in the parks. 

This is the place where I have lived almost my entire life.  It is home.  Some good, some not so good, but it is home.  I don’t remember this evil when I was growing up.  Was I just naive? 

I have always had cats, mainly because I don’t like mice.  My old wonderful cat Putter went missing.  Next my son’s cat Leo disappeared.  I must be careful and protect my little toy poodle, Barkley. 

Who is this creature prowling our neighborhoods who has infiltrated our city?  Some would say they are cute. Ha!  Cute is their disguise!  And, now it appears that one has taken up residence in my house....yes, she's a cute little raccoon.  Barkley, beware!  

The Laundry Room

I have lived in the same house just a couple years short of forty.  When I was shopping for it one of the “must have’s” was laundry inside the house.  If I were to move it would be a deal breaker if the laundry was in the garage.

I can’t go into a garage without feeling intense fear.  Just before I enter I peak into the garage and mentally chart my path; both going in and getting out.  I open the door wide open to ensure there is nothing behind it.  I take a deep breath and make myself do it.  I make it as quick as possible.  Intellectually, I know how unrealistic I am.  Emotionally, I can’t help it.

Sometimes I wonder if people understand that the movies children see can leave them with a lifetime of fear.  I have no idea what movie it was that gave me this lifetime of intense garage fear, but I do remember the scene.  It was a basement scene where a woman was doing laundry.  A man entered with a knife.  There was only one way in and out of the basement.  He was blocking that way.  No one would hear her scream.  She was trapped.  My palms sweat just thinking about the intensity of the moment.  She died.  When I was growing up I lived in several houses.  Our laundry was always located in the garage.  That was the connection.

One time I stayed overnight with Krissy, my cousin. Aunt Pat took us to see Cyclops.  It was one of the most terrifying films I have ever seen. I looked it up on the internet. There is a trailer on YouTube   The trailer is ridiculously silly now, but it wasn't silly in 1957.  I don’t remember too much other than trying to be brave and not show how scared I was.  I wonder if she knew.  I wonder if Krissy was afraid.  I wonder why we didn’t leave?  This is an intense memory.  Even today, I will not watch movies with blood in them and suspense drives me from the room.     

ROUND TWO

I don't know if anyone will read this anymore, but I think it's time to revive this blog. It's always nice to hear from readers and I look forward to your comments and suggestions.  

I've been returned from my Peace Corps assignment for three years.  I've slipped back into teaching college management courses on a part-time basis.  I take my dog to the park.  I tutor my grandchildren.  I am a volunteer consultant with Executive Service Corps working as a coach for a new Executive Director, and I am going to start volunteering with Schools on Wheels, an NGO whose focus is to tutor homeless children on Skid Row in Los Angeles.

I tutor my granddaughters, Ava and Mia.  We call it home”fun” because learning should not be work when you are six and two.  Actually, regardless of age learning should never be work.  It's fun to create learning games and activities to teach reading, geography and math.  But I have to be honest.  I'm good at teaching literacy, but I’m lost as to how to teach math.  So I hired an amazing Math Tutor, Mary, who is helping Ava learn early math concepts.  I'm learning from Mary.  She shares in my perspective of learning; it’s important to not only learn, but create a love for learning.  About Mary

Ava's summer focus has been reading and storytelling.  She just entered first grade and she is a fluent reader.  She has written simple stories about things she has done over the summer and we are going to bind them into a scrapbook.  As she writes and draws wonderful pictures of her activities, I often think about my own journal and how much I miss it.   Children are influenced by what they see.  Mia wants to do all the same things as Ava and so she does home”fun” working on letters, shapes and numbers and making her own colorful summer scrapbook.

This journal will be about giving my grandchildren a glimpse into their past as well as mine, being a role model for the love of writing, being able to think on a more deep level and finally, finding the little things in life that will help me not take myself too seriously.  And so, stay tuned for round two of this blog ....

Big Sisters are Special People

No matter how well-prepared, something is likely to slip through the cracks.

I remember when my youngest sister was born. My mother prepared me for what would happen. I would have my own bedroom because I am the oldest. My new sister and younger sister would share the other bedroom. We played dolls and mom showed me how to feed and burp a baby. I was a big part of the change that would be taking place in just a few short months.  I was ten years old when Janyn was born.

When the day came, I was told that I was too young to go inside the hospital. My dad took my sister and me around to the window of my mother’s first floor room. I stood outside the small Hawthorne Hospital that has long since disappeared. I could not reason why they would not let me inside where I could view my sister from the nursery window. As I stood on the flower beds, not caring that I was crushing the flowers and plants beneath my feet, we chose her name.


The call came early Friday morning, just hours after another huge Thanksgiving dinner. I walked into the hospital where I found Brendan, Theresa and Ava. Waiting for the elevator I glanced at the clock. It was just after two in the morning. The attendant wheeled Theresa into her room and we followed. 


I took Ava to an outside waiting room and it was there that I realized that, although Ava has been well-prepared for her new sister, there are still things she does not understand. Ava is just three weeks shy of turning four years old. She was tired. It was time for a small melt-down. After a few minutes in the waiting room and a lot of tears, it was decided we would be far more comfortable if I took her back home to sleep in her bed. 

Ava has a beautiful new sister.  Mia Jo was born the next morning. My middle name is Jo.  I feel honored that Mia will go through her life's journey with this special connection.  

Big sisters are special people. Unlike when my sister was born, the next morning we walked into the hospital and into her mommy’s room where she was greeted by her mom and dad and her brand new sister. She held her and hummed a lullaby. 

We compared feet and talked about her tiny body.

We baked and decorated a cake for mommy. 

Yesterday daddy and I took her to see the new Disney Movie Tangled. There was a special live performance with many of the Disney characters in it.  Of course, she loved both the performance and the movie.  

After the movie she said she would like to pose nice for a pretty picture. It was then we realized there was a Disney store just beyond the theater lobby. She scored some new hair clips for this pretty pose.  Big sisters are special people.