Paper Beads

The Hub

There is a lot to say before we get to the point. The point, of course, is paper beads. But, I need to tell you how I got there in order for you to appreciate them.

I have my own Communication Center in Saint Lucia. The first feature of my Communication Center is my phones; I have lots of phones. I have a cell phone. I need it when I’m out and about. I’m not really good with it because I carry a backpack instead of a purse. It gets lost in my backpack so I put it in my pocket. It’s sensitive and turns itself off a lot. My friends know to send me an email when I don’t answer the phone.

I went through a period when I forgot to take it out of my pocket and washed a lot of phones in my semi-automatic washing machine. That was expensive. I solved the problem. I put a crumpled piece of paper in the washing machine. The paper was a symbol for me to find my phone before turning the water on. It worked; I haven’t washed a phone in months. Unfortunately, the phone that survived is the one that likes to turn itself off.

I have a landline. I need it to call other landlines because it costs more to dial a landline number from a cell phone. I may not have opted for this and just paid the extra cost, but I couldn’t get internet without getting a landline. Why? Well, the only thing I can figure is that when I arrived on the island there was no internet competition.

A lot of people carry two cell phones. We have two carriers and it’s expensive to make calls between the two companies. Some people wear their phones around their necks. Here is where I draw a line in the Caribbean beach sand. I will only have one cell phone and you will never catch me wearing it around my neck.

Many of the locals use texting to communicate. I became a “texter” when I began teaching at Los Angeles Harbor College. Students texted me to say they were late or couldn’t make it to class and for a myriad of other things they wanted to communicate. It’s not my preference, but I used it then and use it now.

I have a Vonage Phone. I know, I should have a Magic Jack. It’s a cheaper option, but I brought the Vonage box and, frankly, it’s too much trouble to switch. The Vonage Phone is hooked up to the internet and has a California area code so that people can call me and I can call them. It’s nice.

Another feature of the Communication Center is the internet. I rely on it for work and to keep in touch with friends. I research. I don’t have to GO to a library to get information. I use the internet to research material for courses and workshops. As alumni and faculty, I have access to several university libraries. Email is important. Occasionally, I use Skype when I want to see the people I’m talking to. It’s fun, but the pictures are less than clear so this Communication Center feature is not often used.

I have a Facebook account. Most of the volunteers have a Facebook Account and so it’s a good way to keep in touch. I use chat. I chat on Facebook and Gmail. I usually don’t initiate the chats, but I do chat. It’s definitely part of my Communication Center. And, of course, I’m a blogger. It’s my way of keeping in touch with a wide group of friends. Even if I don’t know you, by now you are my friend.

I pay bills on-line and occasionally make a purchase. Recently, I purchased two books from my friend Lois. She co-authored a new book called “Carried Away”. I’m a Paypal user which makes it easier to make purchases.

I recently sent two real letters using real stamps, something I haven’t done in years. It was different and fun, but I don’t feel like I’ll make it a habit. I prefer to use my Communication Center.

My Communication Center is a hub – a web of activity. Three phones, Skype, email, chat, texting, a bill paying and purchase center, a research tool, Facebook and Blogging. My Communication Center is a delicate balance of software, hardware, devices, wires and cables. As I recently found, it can be a house of cards.

Denial

When I returned from my trip to Costa Rica, I found my landline didn’t work. Although the landline is part of my Communication Center and is included in my Hub, it has less value to me. I looked at the dead phone sitting on the table and thought to myself, “I will report it just now”. In the meantime, I will pretend there is no problem. It’s just easier that way.

‘Just now’ in Saint Lucia means maybe in five minutes, maybe in a few hours, maybe tomorrow, next week, or maybe never. It’s pretty vague. Island living has compelled me to adapt this lack of urgency; at least when I choose to adapt to it.

I was in Castries last Tuesday and had a little free time. I wasn’t sure if I had paid the phone and internet bills yet so I stopped at Lime, my phone/internet carrier. This is another ‘just now’ thing. I’ve forgotten to pay my bills for two months and no one says anything. They never threatened to cut my service or even mention that the bill was overdue.

So, this is the way I roll in Saint Lucia. I go to the office and stand in line. I don’t like carrying a lot of money and prefer to pay the bill with a credit card. Sometimes after standing in the Lime line, I have to go to the bank and stand in line to get money and then return with cash to pay the Lime bills. I do this when the credit card machine doesn’t work. I’m used to the process. I patiently accept this. It’s part of Peace Corps charm.

The credit card machine worked yesterday. I hesitated because I thought I may be directed to another line, but mustered the courage. “My landline doesn’t work. How do I report this?” Much to my surprise she took the information right there. She punched information into the computer, asked a couple of questions and then said, “A repairman will be out within three days”. I thought to myself, “yes, or just now”. But as I said I have no sense of urgency about this phone.

I was working with the children in a neighboring village when my cell phone rang the next day. It always startles me when it rings because it shuts itself off so often. Anyway, it was the repairman! He explained he had fixed the problem from the little station in the village, but wanted to check to ensure everything was working properly. He needed to know how to locate my house.

This is always a chore because there are no street names of numbers. I explained in painful detail how to get to my house and then asked him to knock on my landlord’s door and ask them to let him in the house. I am convinced he either lives in this village or knows someone here because he understood every landmark I described.

Anger

When I got home I found that not only was the landline dead but I also have no internet. OMG, my entire Communication Center – the delicate balanced hub of activity has been disturbed. I cannot get phone calls from the U.S., can’t skype, make purchases, pay bills, research, email, chat…Nothing. I realize I don’t have a clue what I should be doing because I can’t access my on-line calendar. My communication hub is now confined to one phone; my cell phone. Whereas just yesterday the world was at my fingertips, my world has been reduced to one tiny island – Saint Lucia. Just now is not acceptable!

Little did I know that I would miss five days of work, make dozens of costly phone calls from my cell phone to LIME’s landline, experience success and then failure and that it would take over week to fix the problem. But, there is something about those frustrating and bad experiences in life that turn out to be introspective and humorous.

Frustration

At the After-School Program, the focus for the month is slavery. We are teaching the children to think broader. I asked them what it meant. They said that it meant that people were beaten but couldn’t come up with meaning beyond that. I asked them to find the definition of slavery on the computer. They discovered that it was when someone was forced to do something they did not want to do.

We talked about what they were “slaves” to in their world. They came up with a list of things. We talked about peer pressure. We talked about drugs and alcohol. As we explored this concept they began to understand that, although slavery in the more literal sense was devastating, wrong and frightening, they reasoned that they are slaves in a sense to things in their world. Just like slaves, it takes brave people to overcome the adversity.

As I sit here, isolated in my darkened room, feeling sorry for myself, frustrated and alone, I think about the discussion with the children. I conclude, I am a slave to my Communication Center. I, too must be brave. I shall overcome. Really? NO! I don’t want to overcome – just put my house of cards back in order….please.

Acceptance

Morning finally arrived. I made it through the night. One entire day without full use of my Communication Center and I’m still breathing. I made a pot of coffee, turned on the news and began tapping my finger. Would the repairman show up? Would it be today, or just now? I went downstairs and Elizabeth came out. She said, “Don’t panic, he will show up”.

It was well into the afternoon and no one had showed up. I was alright with it. Totally reconciled. I was calm and in control. I am bigger than this! It was 3:00 and I was just about to leave when there was a knock at my door. It was Elizabeth and just at the bottom of the stairs there was an angelic looking face. A beautiful man, complete with his own tool belt. Beyond that there was no white horse, but just as good. It was a black truck with a LIME logo on its side. Hello Digby!

He scampered up the phone poll and ran up my stairs to test, repeating this process several times. And all the sudden – the internet. The world again is at my fingertips. It was almost like I’d never known such peace. I slept well Thursday night. And then came Friday.

The LIME technician said, “I just fixed your line, can you test it?” “What?” I respond, “There was nothing wrong with my line!” For several seconds, the only thing I heard the technician say was, “Oh, sugar”. He said this many times. I asked, “Did you break it?” He could not answer. He only said “Oh, sugar”. I knew the answer.

It has now been eight days. So here’s what has been happening. Last Tuesday, I reported the landline was dead. My internet was fine. Wednesday they came and broke the internet so I had no phone or internet. Thursday Digby fixed it. Friday the unknown “Oh, sugar” man broke it, closed the ticket and left. No one works weekends. Monday I opened a new ticket. Tuesday they said they were here in the village trying to fix it from the LIME office. I’m not sure if there is any truth to that. They also indicated they couldn’t fix it and would be back today. I’m not sure there is any truth to that either.

My landlady, Elizabeth, came to my house today with a piece of homemade cake and said she was going to Vieux Fort and would put “threatening LIME” on her list of things to do while there. I’m not sure why, but she is still in the “anger” stage. I need to help her get to “acceptance”.

So, what am I doing to make this tolerable? I’m making paper beads.

Paper Beads

I used to grow things when I was younger. When John and I were first married, we had a communal vegetable garden complete with a scarecrow. We lived in a three-plex and we were all friends. The first year we planted twenty-six tomato plants, not realizing that many plants would likely supply the entire neighborhood with tomatoes.

I had hundreds of houseplants. I took the curtains down and the plants supplied our privacy. I remember sitting on the front porch with my oldest son, then two. Together we repotted plants, added nutrients to the soil and watered them.

I made lots of Christmas decorations and usually had a needlepoint on hand to sew. I macraméd and crocheted. Most surprising is that I also cooked and baked. We barbequed in the yard we shared with our friends. No one had much money then so communal dinners were not only fun, but a survival strategy.

After a handful of years, we bought a house and moved from the three-plex. Slowly life began to take hold. Two more children, Little League, school functions, a full time job, long hours and travel, a lawn that needed to be mowed, walls that needed paint and laundry that needed to be washed, replaced the hobbies that previously took so much of my time.

I was never really great at any of the things I did, but the hobbies were relaxing. I didn’t stop doing all those things at once – it was a slow change. Slow enough where I didn’t really notice.

And now, there is another change. A slow change, but significant. There are no longer children to take care of and all the things that go with it. I retired from my job and I gave my lawn mower away and hired a gardener. I signed up for Peace Corps and moved to another country where I live in a rented apartment so there are no walls to paint. I stopped cooking years ago, although I still occasionally bake; even here.

Technology now takes up most of my time. Internet research and work that requires a computer, online videos, music, blogging, emails, Facebook, chats, and perusing websites that supply endless stories written by unknown but talented writers in need of an audience – these are the things that now take up my discretionary time.

The internet is my diversion when I work. It’s my break – the way I clear my head. An hour of work – then thirty minutes of surfing into the black hole of time.

I tried turning on the television, but was bored. I’ve read everything interesting and the only books I have left are books that I started but found less than engrossing. I listen to my IPod, but long to multitask so I clean.

Then I remembered the instructions I stumbled onto a few weeks ago. They were easy instructions on how to make paper beads. I’m not sure how I came upon it. I wasn’t looking for it. It’s just what happens when surfing the internet. So, today, taking a break from creating a new workshop on event planning, I made paper beads.

While I was cutting and gluing, I thought of the hours I spent on past hobbies and the peace it brought me. It was fun and relaxing. It was also rewarding because I had something to show for my time. It’s nice to get back to basics, but I do miss the internet!