I opened Facebook and among the notices and posts I read that it was Adell's birthday. I opened her page to find she passed just a couple weeks before. Adell and her husband Jay moved to Sadona a few years ago and I lost personal touch but there was always the occasional message back and forth.
The first time I met Adell, I walked into her classroom to do an internship in Community College Teaching. I had no idea how she would impact my life. She was kind and willing to teach me everything I needed to know and more. She recommended me for my first class….Marketing. I knew almost nothing about Marketing. She said, “Don’t’ worry all you need to know is the 4 Ps and remember you know more than they do”. The first thing I did when I left school that day was to research what in the hell the 4 Ps are! I never told her that I had to look that up but I wish I had as I know she would have had a good laugh! She was right, I did know more than the students knew even though I was only a chapter ahead during that semester. She guided me all the way through my first classes and never stopped supporting me. To this day, thanks to Adell, I can tell you all about the 4Ps!
The day I left for Peace Corps the Los Angeles Times printed my story on the front page, Column 1. I was outing myself. Barely anyone knew my back story. It was too personal and too painful to share. But here I was giving the Los Angeles Times permission to print my story on page one! https://www.latimes.com/local/la-me-karen27-2008aug27-story.html
I received an advanced copy of what would be printed. I can’t remember ever being this scared. What had I done? My sons and Johns brothers had given their support for me to talk with the Times, but for years my personal life was completely hidden from my professional life as well as many of my friends. I had to become a different person when I walked out the door in the morning and through the corporate doors for the next 8-10 hours. No one at work knew. None of my friends knew, except Adell. There was so much shame and regret. I married a really good man with a very big addiction. Adell helped me work through it. The day I was given an advanced copy of the article I took my dog, Barkley, to the dog park on 190th Street. I was in tears when I called Adell and it was obvious she wasn’t thrilled about the dog park, but she was there in a matter of minutes. She read the article and told me it was all going to be ok. She sat with me while I cried. She was such a calming force. I am crying as I write this memory, remembering how important she was in my life.
I visited her during a short vacation from Peace Corps. She wasn’t well. I was wearing a necklace. It was a bullet casing. Part of it was the bottom of the shell and the rest had been melted down and made into a leaf with the word “Life” written on it. This necklace was made by a young woman who escaped the civil war in Liberia. When she returned she found everything destroyed around her and there were thousands of spent shell casings on the ground. She defiantly started this small business, Akala, to give back to her country. Adell was intrigued when she saw it and then when I related the story she was taken back. I gave her the necklace that day. I gave it to her because she chose life. She was such a strong woman. She helped so many and gave back endlessly. The message on this necklace matched Adell’s soul.
Finally, there was a message on her cork board over her desk at work. A secretary had taken it when she was likely teaching a class. It was a message from her husband Jay. It said, “Jay called to say he is madly in love with you”. What a special relationship they had.
My love and respect for Adell will remain. She was a force in my life!
